Happy, Happy Halloween!

Those that have known me for awhile, know that Halloween is and likely will always be my favourite day of the year.

So many things to celebrate! Costume wearing is not only tolerated, but expected (I would wear one every day if only it were socially acceptable where I live). Eating only candy all day is encouraged. There is a suspension of disbelief between fantasy and reality. We can honor our relatives and ancestors who have passed on, since the veil is the thinnest between the world of the living and the dead.

What's not to love!

Since of course I love the roots and symbolism of Halloween, I was delighted to discover this bit of Celtic wisdom about Halloween on Avia Venefica's blog.


http://www.symbolic-meanings.com/2009/10/23/samhain-and-the-seven-swans-of-virtue/

This story of the "Seven Swans of Virtue" ties Halloween to our Divine origins. It reminds us that Halloween is a day of cosmic balance. The channels which connect the physical and spiritual are widest, allowing humans to retrieve their Truth and reestablish their balance between physical and spiritual on this day.

Take your opportunity today to remember your Divine origins and rebalance yourself!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Thanks to SolsticeSol for the photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/solstice8207/1805076574/

Blinded By the Light

I've always been amazed by psychics. I've always thought that with the powers they possessed, the must be truly amazing people, to earn that kind of gift. I've always been intimidated by psychics, since they must know EVERYTHING. After all, if they can see elements of my future, by extension, must they not know everything? I was always in awe of them....until lately.

Don't get me wrong. I still think psychic powers are amazing and a gift from the Universe, God or the goddesses, or whoever gives these things out. However, as one who has been trying to come to terms with her own “skills” that verge into the psychic realm, I am not able to hold psychics in such awe anymore. After all, if I could be considered psychic, how special can psychics be?

Wait a minute....what am I saying? Aside from my obvious self-esteem issues, encapsulated in that statement is what's wrong with my thinking. I have until this time viewed psychic abilities as something that one was "worthy" of, or "earned" for being a good person. Hmmm....but aren't we all instrinsicly worthy, just because we exist?

This reminds me of one of the most profound experiences of my life. After my first child was born, my first outing into the "real" world, was to the local shopping mall. I will never forget, as the electronic door wooshed open, and I stepped one foot in, I caught sight of a man. In that first second, I could see him - all of him - as his mother saw him on the day he was born, as he appeared perfectly in the mind of God. All I could see was the best representation of himself. I could only see his brilliance, his perfectness.

Then I looked at a woman. She too, appeared to me as in the first moment of her creation. Perfect. The same thing happened with every person I looked at. They were all glowing in their perfection. It was almost overwhelming. I literally couldn't take it all in. It was like looking at the sun - the brilliance and intensity was blinding. I couldn't help but cry, and I had to leave because I was totally overwhelmed by the intensity.

I couldn't look anywhere without being blinded. Blinded by perfection. How often does that happen?

That day it hit in me in a huge and overwhelming way, that it never had before. Everyone IS sacred. Everyone IS an expression of the Divine. Every single person on this Earth came from the mind of the One.

I will always consider that day a rare gift. It was a reminder that all of us, no matter what our life circumstances, are all PERFECT, just because WE ARE. We don't have to do anything else, other than exist, to be that way.

This is particularly important to remember when we are in the seat of judgment. It is much easier to say "That person is [choose your poison – crazy, bad, psycho, ugly, etc.]. Much harder to judge if we instead think from that place of compassion "Wow, that perfect human being must have encountered horrible things in his life, to be acting from a place of so much pain and confusion."

Perhaps the biggest challenge of all, even harder than not judging others, is not judging yourself. After all, not judging yourself is the acceptance of your OWN divinity.

Sure it is easy for me to sit here and tell you to embrace others with compassion, and tell you how great I think you are, but can I do this for myself? What about self-compassion?

The most liberating exercise I have found in working on my own issues, is the discovery of self-forgiveness. I can judge myself more harshly than anyone else ever could. I’m sure this is true for many people.

Since I started forgiving myself for things big and small, I have felt better and happier than ever. I can start to truly feel that I am divine, created from the “power that created worlds” more than ever before. I am able to start accepting the fact that I am divine – just like you and that guy that works in your building that you never looked at before. Slade at http://www.shiftyourspirits.com/ calls this concept “super common divine”.

He describes it an amazing way in this post - http://sladeroberson.com/psychic-readings/what-do-voices-sound-like-when-they-arent-physically-making-a-sound.html.

I think this is a fantastic way to think about it. Instead of expecting the “super natural” to be outside of us, it is much more radical to think that it is inside of us. It is much harder, but also much more exciting to put this concept into action. IT is US. Taking personal responsibility for this radical concept, is very likely the reason we were put on Earth at this point in time.

It is easy to judge, but harder to love and accept. Yet, what brings us better results. Which choice will change our world.

As somebody once said, who knew what He was talking about, “Love your neighbor.”

Thanks to CharlaneG for the inspiring photo! http://www.flickr.com/photos/charlaneg/3145031135/

Journey: Forging Your Hands on the Way to the Valley

I am publishing some actual journeys so that those interested in having journeys done for them, can get an idea of the type of information that I may come back with for them, and what the experience is like. Since it can be difficult to describe what a journey message is like, I thought it would be best to demonstrate through actual journey accounts.

Journey
I did a journey for K with the intention of “what does the word “transformation” mean for K”? What messages are there for her around “transformation”?

I dove into the water to head out for my journey. However, apparently I was supposed to go up to the Upper World instead. So I did about three somersaults in the air, as I flipped up to into the Higher Realm. A dolphin popped out of the air and playfully did a jump for me before disappearing. I saw two more dolphins do the same thing for me as I continued up. This dolphin gave me confirmation that he was K’s main spirit guide at this time.

I asked for guidance/messages about what “transformation” means, on behalf of K. I had to wait a bit but I was finally shown a message.

K was standing there looking at her hands, or more correctly, the absence of her hands. Instead of hands, there was “nothing” in the shape of her hands - void space, black matter. I asked for clarification on the messages for K, about her hands. The message was around “no hands = no identity” (fingerprints identify an individual person, etc.).

I kept waiting and soon flesh color began to pour in the “molds” where there was currently void space. Eventually new hands formed and she got an entirely new set of hands. This did not happen quickly, so the message was also about how it will take some time to forge a new identity. But when the hands were “done”, they were fully and completely formed complete with new lines in the hands, and new fingerprints, and K had a different and new identity.

I asked for further messages, and was kept waiting for awhile. Finally I was shown K, making her way down a mountain with terraces (as in photos of rice growing on mountains in Asia). K would have to drop her body down over the side of a terrace and trust that she would land on the top of the next terrace. I asked for clarification, and received that she had already reached the top of the mountain, and climbed over it, but that she must now be careful and take her time on the way down.

K was wearing burgundy dress pants with a button at each ankle, and cream-colored dress shoes with a little heel. (I mentioned this to K, as I didn’t have a clue what it meant, but since it made itself known as a detail to me, it might have some significance for her.) Each time she dropped down onto the next terrace she landed on the little heel of her shoe and then carefully put the rest of her foot down.

She slowly progressed all the way down the terraces, but it took time and effort for each step down. She had to learn to trust yourself on each terrace, and take a little leap downward, but each time she did, it was fine and worked out for you. The feelings around this message were learning to trust herself (your intuition and experience) and also the Universe’s process. The message was, if K was willing to trust a little with each step, and stretch a little, things will be fine, and she would continue to build on the last step until you reach where you wish to go.

Symbolism and Analysis
When K and I looked at the symbolism in K’s journey some of the most significant messages to K were:

Slowness/patience in my process – It took time for me to receive messages.
This slow moving pace reflects the patience that K will have to exercise in forming her new identity and moving up to the next stage in her work and her life. K actually pointed this out to me, and I agreed with her.

Dolphin – Dolphins have many meanings but some of them are duality (with both lunar and solar symbolism, air/water breather), living in two worlds, playfulness, grace.
K really related to the meaning of her dolphin’s duality "being in two worlds at once." Her new project was really about being in two different types of worlds. Also her new project involves children and playfulness. I suggested that since her new project was also just being “born” that perhaps the dolphin could be representative of that, since dolphin is from the Greek word for womb.

Hands – This was the strongest image in the journey. The hand has long been thought as a conduit of power – transforming unseen energy into the world of form. The Latin word for manifestation is formed around the world manus which is the Latin word for hand. Hands also speak to balance, since there are two of them. In Celtic mythology they were thought to harbour energetic powers. (Thanks again to www.whats-your-sign.com for help with the symbols).

K resonated strongly with what I thought about the meaning of the hands and slowly forging a new identity for herself. She related that she was trying to detach from her ego, and was learning to be a neutral observer. K felt strongly about the phrase “conduit of power” in relation to her hands. It jumped out at her (and me) as she was reading the typed-up version of her journey. She is in the middle of a transition and she is discovering new skills and new sources of personal power.

I told K that the feeling behind the hands was so strong, it felt to me as though she might even be changing her destiny. K agreed that she felt the same way.

Mountains - Meanings of mountains can represent challenges, acquisition, accomplishment and aspirations.

The mountain symbolism was particularly interesting to me, as it had deep meaning to K. K had recently had a vision of her new life and going into a valley. The valley was a place of joy and ease, with only nature, and filled with children. She knew her vision was telling her that she was progressing towards the valley. Hence her travels “down the mountain” were very significant to her, as was the trust she was required to develop at each “step”.

When I asked her about her crazy ensemble of red pants and creamy white shoes with heels, she said that lately she had really been attracted to the color red, that she had never worn red before now in her life, and that it was a color of power to her. I asked her if she thought the pants were her “power pants”. The pants were children’s pants, which perhaps symbolized her new project with children, or that she had to more child-like and trust her intuition.

She also thought the heel on the shoes were significant. She told me that in her life, her feet symbolize moving forward. In fact, the day I was talking to her she had just injured her foot, which she took to mean that she was resisting learning to trust the unknown. The fact that in the journey she was landing on her feet and in particular her heels, every time she took a step down onto each “steppe”, meant to her, that she was “healing” with each step of the way down the mountain towards her valley.

Other stuff: K also noticed the appearance of “three” throughout her journey (3 somersaults, 3 dolphins) as three had been appearing in her life a lot lately.

K said that this journey grounded her, and confirmed for her, that she should be doing what she is doing at this present point in time.

Once again, thanks to K for allowing me to share this with anyone reading this blog! As always, journeys are so interesting to me and fun to do.

Thanks again for symbolism stuff to:  http://www.whats-your-sign.com/

Beautiful photo by: hannan http://www.flickr.com/photos/hanaan/

Intuition - The Gift That Keeps On Giving

An old friend of mine was in town a few weeks ago from a far away city. I don’t see him very often, but he is one of my oldest and dearest friends. Because I don’t see him often, I wanted to get him something for his birthday, that would remind him of me.

We only had two hours to spend together and I had to pick him up on the other side of town. I asked him if he wanted to stop at a rock shop on the drive back to my house as I was working on developing my intuition, and shopping would be an easy and fun way to exercise that muscle. The shop is near my house, but I had never actually stopped there in the six years I have lived in the neighborhood.

Before we entered the store, I told him that I wanted him to “feel around” with his intuition and see if there was anything in the store that he would like. “To the left” he said immediately and without hesitation as we entered the store.

We veered to the left side of the store and encountered a floor-to-ceiling shelf with all kinds of rock knick-knacks on it. He was immediately drawn to a butterfly made out of variegated orange agate rock slices, hinged in the middle with the bronze body of a butterfly. “I really don’t need more knick-knacks. But I love this!” he said. I encouraged him to keep it with him while we looked around the store.

We found a rock reference book and looked up the meaning of orange agate. We went to the cash desk and I bought it for him. We had only been in the store for about 9 minutes tops, including it took the time to look in the rock reference books.

I was thrilled that we got to use our intuition and that it was so easy. Most of all I was thrilled to get him a gift that he liked.

Flash-forward to yesterday…..I was having a horrible day. I had very little sleep for two nights in a row, I was having a horrible period and everything seemed gloomy. Work was crushing and overwhelming. It looked like an upcoming party was not going to happen. I had no love for myself and it didn’t feel like anybody else had love for me either.

I was sitting in my car wondering if I could make it through the entire afternoon without falling asleep or crying my eyes out. I asked out loud for the Universe to give me just one concrete sign that I was loved.

I dragged myself back up to my office and sat down in my chair. I was sitting deciding whether I should let myself have a full-blown cry before I tackled the rest of my work. At that very second my cell phone rang.

It was my friend. He was calling in the middle of the day from his city. He said “Hi, I just wanted to call you and tell you I love this butterfly!” “Thank God you did”, I said, “I was just going to have a total meltdown because I feel like I don’t have friends.”

He told me that he felt like he was just “supposed” to call me. “Quite often I don’t listen to these impulses, because I’m not in a good mood or I have to have a shower or whatever. But I just thought I should call you, so I did.”

What a great and magical intuitive tool that butterfly is! When I dug deeper the meanings of the orange butterfly were even more interesting. Orange is associated with the second chakra - all about personal power, creative and emotion related energies, according to http://www.bellaonline.com/. If your sacral chakra is in balance, then you find yourself on an even keel. An unbalanced sacral chakra can affect your creativity, blocking the ability to come up with new artistic works, or to create new ideas to solve issues in your life.
The fact that his butterfly was orange is significant for many reasons. We met each other through the arts, and my friend works as a professional artist. Yesterday, my sacral chakra was out of balance as I was riding the roller coaster of emotions all the way down. The Universe found a delightful way to balance my sacral chakra out and also continue to surprise me.

According to A. Venefica, http://www.whats-your-sign.com/, butterfly symbolism speaks of resurrection, transition, celebration, lightness, time, and soul.
In many cultures’ myths the butterfly is a symbol of transformation because of its impressive metamorphosis. The pupae’s entire life changes to such an extreme it is unrecognizable at the end of the transformation. The deepest symbolic lesson of the butterfly is that she asks us to accept the changes in our lives as she does. She unquestioningly embraces the changes in her environment and her body.

The butterfly’s unwavering acceptance of her metamorphosis is also symbolic of faith. The butterfly beckons us to keep our faith as we undergo transitions in our lives. In Greek myth, Psyche is represented in the form of a butterfly and is forever linked with love as she and Eros shared an endlessly passionate bond together.

The butterfly was working as a two way receiver, connecting us with love and beckoning us to keep our faith as we both travelled through transition.

Gotta love intuition, yet again.

Journey: Wisdom of the Crone and Woody Woodpecker!

Journey
I did a journey for B, with the intention of finding answers/guidance on the question:
“What is B’s life purpose?”

As I journeyed up, I was joined by a bird which whipped past me in its enthusiasm. It was blue, so at first I thought it was a bluebird, but it had a bright orange neck, which popped out at me, was kind of cartoonish, like Woody Woodpecker, and it smiled at me as it went by me, flying up and up. The feeling I got was that this bird was B’s main personal guide, which is with her all the time. It was so excited to get there and get some answers that it raced ahead of me!

As B’s guide and I journeyed to the Upper World, the guide went up into the Vulva of the Universal Mother. It entered this sacred place of power, then this Vulva branched into two vulvas. These two vulva’s seemed to have particular relevance to B, and were blue as the bird was. The feeling I got was that it seemed to be important for B’s guide, to enter both Vulva’s, so he did. Once inside the Vulva’s, it turned into one vaginal canal of the Universal Mother, and we both went up and through the Womb of the Mother and continued up and out of her spinal column into the Upper World.

I asked for guidance on B’s question on her behalf. I was first shown B scratching in the dirt, taking the “dirt” into herself as a tunnel to process it. B seemed to be the “container” for the dirt – she was take into the dirt of others lives and hold it, and with her knowledge, to process it for them. (I asked for clarification on what the “dirt” was, and the “dirt” is the “stuff” in the people’s lives that B wishes to help them process). By scratching under the dirt, B would uncover gold. It felt like the gold was the unique values of each person coming to B.

The next message was an old aboriginal woman with black braids, dancing in a circle, wearing a white leather dress with fringes, decorated with blue and black beads. While she danced her sacred dance and sang her sacred songs, she was staring into a mirror. The mirror was not only reflecting her image, but was generating its own light and was reflecting other things back. When I asked for clarification, I received that B (as the old woman with sacred knowledge and powers) is a mirror for others, and would cause them to see themselves in a new, bright light.

The last message I got for B, was where B was represented by a kind of a closed plastic round container. (The closest thing I can think of that it resembled, is the circular plastic piece on the end of a retractable dog leash.) The retractable opening was taking in a sort of film, and spooling it inside the plastic container. The film was the experiences of all the people B wishes to help. Tiny pictures of these people were being drawn into the container (which represented B). Then when all the pictures had been coiled into B, it stopped and the “processing” inside began. Then, the retractable part started unspooling a long line of tickets. The tickets started coming out and people were enthusiastically tearing the tickets off as they came out. I asked for clarification and the tickets were B’s invitations to people she wants to help, that wanted to come to B’s events.

I provided this journey to B and let her think about it for a few days to see what she came to her.

Symbolism
When I looked objectively at some of the themes throughout B’s journey, there were some common threads:
- B in every image I had of her, was full of the experience and the sacred wisdom as the Crone throughout. Also, B was “birthed” through the ultimate Yoni (vulva) the sacred symbol of feminine creativity, further strengthening her tie with Ultimate female wisdom.
- B is portrayed as being a “container” of wisdom (as a tunnel she contained and processed the “dirt” of others’ lives, B as the old woman reflected back brighter images of people’s images that they couldn’t see of themselves, B as a plastic “container” collected other’s life images and processed them for them, and fed it back to them)
-B is portrayed as a spiral (tunnel is a cylinder, woman’s dancing circle, plastic container spooling and unspooling) or going through cylinders (Universal Vulva)
- The indigo/blue color throughout representing spiritual vision and deep delving into the psyche/expression and communication (blue jay, blue vulva, blue beads on old woman’s dress).

Analysis
It was interesting talking to B about what was going on in her life. She totally related to the qualities of the bluejay (opportunistic/communication/taking action in her highest good), and the woodpecker (opportunistic/attention grabber/look at old projects in new way).

She had long worked in male-dominated industries, and had always been challenged on her beliefs, particularly as she was a woman. She had battled male opinions about how to do things for along time, but was finally succeeding in making others in her industry, mostly men, see things and other people from a different perspective. She was finally coming to a place in her life where she was finding the confidence to express her opinions, particularly as female-oriented opinions in a male world. She was also seeing the men she worked with express their confidence in her. (We discussed the “initiation” into the Universal Vulva and out the top of the Universal Mother - attaining the wisdom of the Crone.)

Her day job centred around making employers see the qualities of their employees in a new light, or value them in a different way. The other activities she was being drawn to now were all about helping people see their own qualities in a new light, and value those qualities.
B confirmed that the journey images helped her see her own skills in a new and different light. She said that she was prompted to re-design activities that she was offering others in a different way, with a different focus. (We discussed how she was the “container” for others lives, and how she used her Crone wisdom and experiences to reflect back to them their true value. Also, the emphasis in her life on expression and communication with the blue color.)
We also discussed the deep symbolism of the spirals and circles, in the evolution of her clients from outer materialism to the value of their inner life. Also, how she was being “re-birthed” through the Universal Vulva and was facilitating the re-birth of others in her re-focussing their attention back to their own value.

I encouraged B to do her own further research on any aspect of the journey, particularly any details that stood out to her, for deeper meaning.

One other interesting important detail of this journey was that the woodpecker face that popped out at me during the beginning of the journey had a deep personal meaning for B. In fact, we did not entirely figure out the entire significance that the woodpecker played about this particular question for B. But since it presented it to such a strong image to me, and as it played such a significant role in B’s life, I encouraged her to examine her woodpecker experience and go back to her memories of that time in her life, to look for links to this question. I’m sure there is something even deeper and more relevatory there for her.

I thank B for allowing me to put the details of her journey on this blog. Thanks B! Our conversation was most illuminating!

Get rid of the psychic garbage!

Recently I was preparing to move. While I dreaded the packing, I forgot how much I enjoyed packing and moving, even though most people complained about it. When I was single, I used to move every few years. Moving not only kept me from accumulating piles of useless junk, but for some reason kept me in the present moment.

As I thought about moving to a new neighborhood, I was met by the harsh reality of the death of some of my most cherished fantasies about my ideal life in this neighborhood. When I moved into this neighborhood, I had grand visions. My children would be bare-footed best friends with the wild-spirited kids of the free-spirited woman who lives behind me. We would invite the elderly neighbor next door for tea with the kids, and she would become a grandma-like figure to them.

The looming moving date yanked me back into reality. The free-spirited woman was too busy taking her kids to alternative schools for her kids to play with mine. Our elderly neighbor was usually cranky and often critical about many things we did.

Now that I was moving, these dreams could never come true. But did they really have a chance of even existing? I started thinking that since I had lived in the same house for 9 years already, it was more than likely at this point that these fantasies would never come true, if they hadn’t already. I felt sad, but then happy. I realized I was mourning the idea of these fantasies and the idealized version of my life they evoked, more than the relationships I had with the real life people involved.

While I was organizing and packing I experienced similar feelings. As I yanked the ad for organic food delivery off my fridge, I suddenly realized “I guess I won’t be doing that”. While I experienced a wave of sadness for not having accomplished one of my goals, it was soon followed by a larger wave of relief. I was now released from the burden of doing it, and more importantly released from the guilt I was giving myself for the whole time I did not do it.

My relief started to grow and grow as I went through the junk drawer. All of sudden I was gleefully chucking away saved twist-ties and random screws. With the disposal of each of these items, I was being freed of all the obligations this stuff was tying me to. By getting rid of my sprouter, I no longer had to someday be sprouting my own sprouts. By getting rid of the touch-up paint for the TV room, meant that I no longer had committed myself to touching up the paint in the future.

I realized that my fantasies about my “ideal” life and the guilt I imposed on myself for not following through, is the real psychic garbage. These lofty ideals and my self-imposed judgment is what really needs to be cleaned out of my mind on a regular basis, and I suspect from most people’s minds. The problem is, I am usually not even conscious that I am judging myself constantly. Most of the things I was judging myself for, really weren’t even that important in the grand scheme of things.

Once the guilt was gone I experienced a lightness, an almost giddiness. I was free. So I didn’t get around to doing what I thought I “should”. I was free to do something different or better in the future. No wonder I had always enjoyed moving so much! The chance to be freed of all ones’ fantasies of an ideal life and the self-imposed guilt from not fulfilling those fantasies – how fantastic! No wonder I kept moving every few years!

The best thing about this discovery is, if I want to, I can stay in the same spot. Every year now, however, I am going to make a point of having a spring cleaning of my “psychic garbage”.

Is there anything that needs to be chucked out of your head today?

School Daze - Journey

My son started kindergarten this fall. All of the dizzying decisions to be made including how old he should be upon entry, whether he should take English or French kindergarten, got me so agitated that I felt like vomiting whenever I thought about it.

So, as I do with difficult decisions in my life, I did a journey to find out information about my options. I made the journey with the intention of finding out what the best option would be for him. I went with two specific options in mind – asking for information and guidance in relation to each one. Option 1 involved him taking English kindergarten for a year, then French kindergarten the second year. Option 2 was for him to go straight to French kindergarten.

I left for the journey from my usual spot. A stork came with me on my journey, and let me ride on its back up to the Upper World. We rode a spiral of smoke up, up through the layers of clouds, into the sky. When I got there I asked for any guides or teachers with messages for me.

A stingray made itself known to me. I asked about option #1. The stingray did kind of a steady flip, flopping as it went in a straight line ahead, on the level, indicating how things would go if I pursued option 1. From the stingray’s movements, which appeared to be normal stingray behaviour, I inferred this option would be easy, with just a few normal challenges, indicated by the normal flopping movements of the stingray. Since I was doing the journey before I went to sleep, my concentration started drifting a little. Images started coming into my own head about issues that came from my own going to school.

It was revealed to me that when I was in elementary school I thought any kid who was older than me, in my grade was “stupid”. I thought anyone that wasn’t the same age as me had failed because of their stupidity and had to be held back. I was very judgmental about these kids, and felt very superior to them.

A scene then flashed into my mind of my first day of grade 8. I had been living out of the country in a different culture and on the first day of school, I was wearing the wrong thing. The kind of thing that was so wrong I probably would have been beaten up if I was not with my mother. Perhaps my mother was having trouble accepting the fact that I was now in junior high, but she dressed me very immaturely for my age and inappropriately for the mid-1980’s! I was wearing grey cords, a plaid blouse with a Peter Pan collar (yellow, pink, grey, white) and a little string tie with it. I remember it so clearly because I thought it would be the outfit that I died in. I walked the gauntlet of kids who were wearing a uniform of blue jeans, jean jackets and black leather jackets. I may as well have been naked.

My mind slid down these tangents for awhile. I moved a lot as a child, and went to several different schools. My mind replayed for me all the times I had to go to a new school, the trauma of being judged, the exhaustion of trying to fit in. Finally I consciously stopped myself and thought “This is not a journey about me – why am I seeing all of these memories of mine?” Then the lightbulb went on. Oh, I get it. It’s actually MY fears of him being judged that are being activated. It really doesn’t have much to do with him at all. It’s MY stuff I have to resolve.

Once this initial realization sunk into, I finally got around to asking about option #2. The poor stingray was trying to go straight up a 90 degree cliff. He accomplished it, but his progress was steep and slow and not easy. He finally got to the top of the cliff and was able to stop and rest. Hmmm…seemed like a tough row to hoe, unless you absolutely had too. Looked like option 1 was the best.

After I was done my journey and had recorded it for myself, I researched the animal symbols in my journey. I took the lessons that were revealed to this point and continued looking deeper.
I looked up some information about the stork. I discovered that in ancient Egypt the stork was associated with the word for “human” – ba – as they had the same phonetic value. The ba was the unique individual character of each human being. I took this to reaffirm in a greater way, that my unique self definitely was present as I sought out these messages.
I also discovered that the Hebrew word for stork was equivalent to "kind mother", and the care of storks for their young, made the stork into a widespread emblem of parental care. Storks would not abandon their nests even if they were on fire.

According to Walker in the Continuum Encyclopedia of Animal Symbolism in Art, the word “stork” comes from the Greek “storge”, which means “powerful affection” or “mother-love”. Hmm….so, my “mother-love” which was also part of my unique self came with me to find messages for my son. Perhaps this meant I was even re-mothering myself in healing my own past school-related issues.

About stingrays, I found out that “Anything that swims in deep water is normally symbolic of deep unconscious aspects of the dreamer. Stingrays have the ability to inflict pain wounds.” Hmmm…I guess that was an even bigger hint to let go of my own issues so as to best not re-injure myself today from the same source.

Final Thoughts
While I did get an answer to the question I went asking, the most interesting aspect of this journey (and not typical in most of my journeys) that it was revealed to me that my own lessons could be affecting my decisions about my son. What a good thing to know! Also, good to know that these issues had to be healed for my own good (and my son’s).

(I chose option 1, and though it is not easy, I think it in the long run it will be in my son’s best interests.)

As an adult, until I did this journey, I tended to think back on my many experiences of attending a new school as “positive” and “growth” experiences, that resulted in me being the “amazing person with many life experiences” I am today. This is the luxury of having surviving painful experiences - you can package them all up and revise them in whatever way you wish. But apparently, while I had many “life experiences”, there was also some unresolved school-related traumas, hiding down deep in the well of my anxiety and reactivated by my own child entering the school system.

Looking at the journey and the symbolism research together my lesson revolved around the fact that my son is just beginning his school life and will have his own challenges and traumas. It’s important that I don’t confuse my own issues from the past with his issues. All I can do is let him live his own life, and make the best decisions I can for him, learned from my own experiences. It is important for me to process and release my own experiences, as the stingray was there to tell me, so that I didn’t get hurt twice!